Your Dreams Unlimited Reservation

Being a travel agent seems to me to be a losing proposition. Everybody just checks Kayak. Of course Disney and the people who love them are a generation or two behind, and so there are dozens of agencies with names like Mouse Savers and The Magic For Less promising tourists the lowest rates for visiting "The World." I'd like to say I chose Dreams Unlimited because it sounded a little classier than Mouseketrips, but it wasn't that thought out.

I've been relatively happy using them, I guess. Beth, my "Personal Planning Vacation Consultant" promises that she "travels to WDW several times a year and have a good working knowledge of the parks, restaurants and resorts." The thing is, she hasn't told me anything I can't find online or in a book. What's nice is that I can send her specific, politely demanding emails and she has to answer me affirmatively and promptly.

Exhibit A

Hi Beth,

So I started to do a little research about The Port Orleans and I was wondering if it's possible to request a room with a river view. 

I'll let you know which restaurants we want to book next week.

Thanks,
Bryan

Port Orleans is the resort we decided on, and I thought if we were going to stay there we might as well have a river view. Not too much to ask.

Exhibit B (after a week's more research on the Port Orleans)

One more request for our stay at Port Orleans. It seems like a huge property, so I'd like to request a room that is relatively central and close to bus transport.
1st Choice: Alligator Bayou Buildings 14, 15, 16, or 18
2nd Choice: Magnolia Bends Building 90 South Side or Building 95 North Side. 

This is more important than my previous request for a river view. If they can do both, awesome! But if not, I'd take proximity over scenery.

Proximity over scenery. A practical if not particularly romantic philosophy. 

We'll see if Beth comes through. Her emails are friendly in a vague way, as if she is the personal planning vacation consultant of thousands. She does sign her emails with the standard Disney "Have A Magical Day!"

Definitely generic, probably insincere, and somehow still endearing.

The Unofficial Guide

 
It's published twice a year. It's 854 pages. It has chapters on everything from character dining to "Disney World At Large," ie "Am I too fat to get on this ride?" The Unofficial Guide: Walt Disney World 2011 was the largest and most imposing of the Disney guide books at Barnes & Noble, and there's no way I'm getting through all of it. I can definitely skip the chapters Walt Disney World with Kids (not happening), Shopping in and out of Walt Disney World (I doubt I'll even buy a t-shirt), and Special Tips for Special People (special is rarely a compliment). Most of it looks pretty useful. There are maps of the parks and reviews of all the hotels resorts, rides attractions, and restaurants.

The best part of the book are touring plans for all the parks to minimize the time you spend in line queue (I have no idea why the aggressively American Disney company uses British vernacular.) This is a neurotic tourist's dream. I now know that when I enter Disney Hollywood Studios, I immediately run to Toy Story Mania (the hot new attraction), then head to Tower of Terror and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster. If all goes according to plan (the authors assure us it will,) I will have ridden all three popular rides within the first hour of park opening and then can relax.

I tend to overplan whenever I go on vacation, but somehow it seems more appropriate at a place as controlled as Disney World.  Imagine going to Paris and saying "I'm going to run to the Louvre, and then hit the Jardin Des Tuileries and Monmartre before 11." But Disney rewards the compulsive, and there's a certain peace that comes with knowing exactly where you'll be and what you're doing every moment of the day. You don't have to decide anything or think much at all. And maybe that's what I need on this vacation.

Origins

When I was a kid I had an uncomplicated relationship with Disneyland.  I grew up in the Bay Area, about six hours north of The Happiest Place On Earth, so my family would drive down every couple of years or so. It was fun. I loved riding the rides, seeing Mickey, and eating lots of ice cream. I didn't think too deeply about it.

Everyone grows up and starts thinking about the world a little differently. I ended up going to college in New York, and staying there after I graduated. I've traveled a fair amount both domestically and abroad, and like to think of myself as educated and my worldview as reasonably cosmopolitan.

I live in Brooklyn, ok? I can sometimes be a bit of a cultural snob. It's not something I'm proud of. Well, not that proud of anyway.

In August, my boyfriend John suggested that we should plan a vacation together.  It was a difficult time. My father had just passed away after a long battle with cancer, and though John and I had only been going out since June, he flew out to California to be there during my dad's memorial service.  Pretty amazing.  So of course I'm like "Yes I'll go on vacation with you." I wanted to go some place relaxing, where I didn't have to think that hard and we could just have fun together. But that was the end of the conversation for the time being.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend who is planning a vacation at Walt Disney World down in Florida. As soon as I heard the words "Disney World," my mind started racing. I felt visceral pleasure, like waking up on Christmas morning. I booked a hotel and bought plane tickets the next day.

Then I had a crisis of confidence. Though John seemed excited to go, I thought he might think less of me for suggesting it for our first vacation together. I mean, let's be real. It's Disney World. Vacation destination of obese Republican families and old ladies from Arkansas who think Times Square is still full of rapists. Symbol of American provincialism and mediocrity, a celebration and deification of a corporation that has peddled middle-of-the-road entertainment, implicit and explicit racism, and a dangerously simplistic view of good and evil for the past 75 years.

Eh, whatever. It's fucking fun. My vacations at Disneyland are some of the best memories of my childhood, and the one time I went to Disney World as an adult I had a blast. This is going to be awesome.