The Unofficial Guide

 
It's published twice a year. It's 854 pages. It has chapters on everything from character dining to "Disney World At Large," ie "Am I too fat to get on this ride?" The Unofficial Guide: Walt Disney World 2011 was the largest and most imposing of the Disney guide books at Barnes & Noble, and there's no way I'm getting through all of it. I can definitely skip the chapters Walt Disney World with Kids (not happening), Shopping in and out of Walt Disney World (I doubt I'll even buy a t-shirt), and Special Tips for Special People (special is rarely a compliment). Most of it looks pretty useful. There are maps of the parks and reviews of all the hotels resorts, rides attractions, and restaurants.

The best part of the book are touring plans for all the parks to minimize the time you spend in line queue (I have no idea why the aggressively American Disney company uses British vernacular.) This is a neurotic tourist's dream. I now know that when I enter Disney Hollywood Studios, I immediately run to Toy Story Mania (the hot new attraction), then head to Tower of Terror and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster. If all goes according to plan (the authors assure us it will,) I will have ridden all three popular rides within the first hour of park opening and then can relax.

I tend to overplan whenever I go on vacation, but somehow it seems more appropriate at a place as controlled as Disney World.  Imagine going to Paris and saying "I'm going to run to the Louvre, and then hit the Jardin Des Tuileries and Monmartre before 11." But Disney rewards the compulsive, and there's a certain peace that comes with knowing exactly where you'll be and what you're doing every moment of the day. You don't have to decide anything or think much at all. And maybe that's what I need on this vacation.